Hello humans,
Thank you for the presentation today, well done. There was not too much critique today to any of the groups – so don’t worry too much about that part. Yet, one group did get more feedback than others which gives a hint that they managed to communicate their work clearer than other groups. So there is no reason to relax, your work needs to be clear and appealing and has areas to catch up on.
You have from the start produced good work, and this time was no exception – although, there some major obstacles that you must climb in order to obtain your work quality. If you feel my feedback is negative, remember that its intentions are to be constructive, all in the favour of your work. And you can scroll up to this sentence: **you are great!** and keep smiling.
Video
The still frames you showed of the desired video quality were graceful, keep that goal. Unfortunately the video was not successful in communicating your projects and needs to be rethought – a good start would be to critically look through the storyboard.
You have been loyal to your video rules and techniques on the cost of nurturing your projects within. Bring more stills in and use fading, paning, swiping, tracing etc to make them feel dynamic. The three screen setup is perfect for this. There was one spot in the video where Jamie was still but his shadow was moving. That worked very well.
The disruption part and the infection parts were confusing and visually weaker than the rest, those need rethinking.
You might need more text/explanation for the video. It remained very ambiguos. Short explanations of what is going on in the video might be needed in some cases. We shall go through that tomorrow.
The repetitions were too similar, and due to the speed the viewer doesn’t see the detailed difference between the scenes. This was particularly evedent in Ginas and Pauls part.
Everything needs to happen a lot slower. Allow each scene to be “felt”, thought about – and therefore communicated better. The subject needs to lead slowly from one screen to the next.
The other critics struggled with the white background but I am fine with it. But in order to keep it, it is essential to get the video to the quality that you showed in the screenshots. Yet, I recommend the movie to be given context at the end in Jamies architecture *see below. Perhaps you want to take a few minutes to discuss if you like to keep the white, or if you introduce a concrete or wooden wall, a textured floor (wooden floor) – just to make sure people don’t think that this whiteness is supposed to be the digital realm.
Perhaps you need to cut the film down, pick the good scenes and concentrate on them. The rest can be visualised with stills etc. We should go through the film step by step tomorrow and figure out what you might want to compromise, and what to work on further.
Individuals
Gina: Can you video the gelaton part of the texture so that we can see the movement in it, and for that part you don’t need to draw on top of it (technically I imagine it being quite tricky) but leave the plaster part as a still and draw on top of that one. So the contrast between soft/young and hard/old is more evident. I would also want to get introduced to the way it climbs down the spine. That got lost in the video today. Also because it was super fast.
Paul: Yours needs to be heaps slower, and because the scull was moving on the screen we didnt see it reforming (did it reform?). Focus on it, and exaggerate it more – it is a poetic explanation of your project so it has tolerance to be quite evident change.
Jamie: The animation needs to be a lot slower and it got kinda lost up in the corner. Introduce more of your stills, the closeups etc. I think it is essential to bring in a natural background when the architecture comes up, so the background appears behind them. It brings the movie back into context, and makes the idea of the architecture make more sense. We should talk about this – background, surrounding structures, community, – and a structure that has been left.
Being clothed… don’t know about that one. Wrapped? covered? Don’t know, it needs a better word.
Details
*Timeline – too crude, keep it to the level of Ginas drawn rings.
*Pauls shells – white on white.
*You have some lovely images that could be added to the book.
*Black water – use some nice dark liquid, I had mentioned dark ale before, something similar to that.
Philosophy
There are a few things that still need to be strengthened and grounded in your philosophy. Some of them might only be mentioned and demonstrated in the workbook/on the website.
There was still confusion about what was “physical” and what was “virtual”.
—Human’s natural habitat is the physical, and Being’s is the virtual.—
I think this quote is really the key, but might need to be rewritten and underlined. Perhaps it is better to call it digital than virtual and the physical could rather be referred to as the human, since it contains all human aspects whether they being physical, virtual or spiritual.
As I understand your world, it is the same environment as we live in today but enhanced with the interweaving of the digital. Am I right? If so, then there is no real difference between the physical world and the digital, but it is more like an xyz where the physical by itself is xy, digital by itself is zy but together it gains the depth of xyz.
Attitude
Now that you have created and stabilised this world of humans and beings, it is important that you welcome others into it. The attitude of the video is slightly arrogant, and does not feel inviting for the audience. It is a little cold and closed; I think the key might be to make the message clearer. This story was yours, but now it needs to become ours (ours as in all of us, both dlf wise and further out).
Enough for now, more tomorrow!
You have four weeks to master it, do it!
Hope you had a chilled Monday afternoon,
See you tomorrow.
K